More 50 Shades ranting

            The Shadies or Grey Girls or whatever the Twi-Hard equivalent for 50 Shades fans are ready for the 50 Shades of Grey movie coming out next weekend. Well technically next Thursday for early shows. It is well timed for the Valentine’s weekend. Excellent marketing tie-in.

I am sure there will be plenty of women who are ready to go. In fact I know so because plenty of tickets have already been purchased: http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2015/01/16/fifty-shades-of-grey-becomes-fastest-selling-r-rated-film-in-fandango-history/ . This “Mommy Porn” has been a very big money maker in book form. I believe that the celluloid version is going to be just as popular. Maybe more so.

Not just lasses who “drag” their fellas to the movie. There will likely be groups of women going together too. There was a mix of couples and women in groups when at Spank when I went about two years ago. Plenty of audience members will be there. Plenty of estrogen will be flowing.

I wonder if there will be groups or single guys outside or inside the movie too? Guys who will be waiting for those ladies. Guys just hanging around outside of movie theaters with a grey tie wrapped around their hand. Sounds like a good tactic to me and if I was single I would do it. Standing around in a grey suit, white shirt and a tie wrapped around the hand. Asking “Your flogger or mine?”

Hopefully this book and now film have been helping people to expand their sexual frontiers. Enjoying an assortment of different types of sex. New things. New positions. Exploration can be so fun.

One method of exploration can be porn. Smash Pictures made “Fifty Shades of Grey: A XXX Adaptation”. And maybe “This Isn’t Fifty Shades Darker II: This is a XXX Parody” the sequel but I can’t be sure if that sequel is real or just box cover art]. Another way to enjoy the fun. I have seen the scenes from the first movie and they are good. Julia Ann as Mrs. Robinson/Elena Lincoln is especially good. That will be missed from this movie though.

Back to the more tame version; it will be interesting to see. I have read all three books. And I do have my tickets already. I want to see what they change. See what they add. Where they end it. That will be all be interesting.

I don't think they cast either Mrs. Robinson/Elena Lincoln or Leila Williams. So is there a "bad girl/guy"? Will they wait to introduce a "bad guy/girl" or antagonist in any way? There are a lot of ways they can go with this story.

That is up to the female director of the movie. Interesting note, she is married to an actor like/about 25 years younger than her. Major cougar. Kind of a Mrs. Robinson herself. Her take on Elena Lincoln would be especially interesting.

So what will it be? Kinky Fuckery or FAKEry?

Spank [The Fifty Shades Parody]

            So awesome! So funny! I had a great time. 

            The crowd was mostly women. I would say about 96%. But there were a few guys there. As one of them, I consider myself lucky. Even better, I actually have read all three books. I got every aspect of every joke.

            Best thing, the three person cast was interactive with the crowd. Well at least the first couple of rows. And the people they picked did amazing. It was great. The cast even knew a little about the local area it was being performed in. Maybe it personal for the audience. Took the performance up a notch.

            Plus the writing was great. So much better than the books themselves. But it was really a smart show.

            The three cast members were all good. The stand out was Suzanne Sole as E.B. Janet. They made her American as opposed to the real Brit, Erika Leonard (E.L.) James. Ms. Sole also played a bunch of other roles (Jose, the rest of the Greys and others). By far the best at acting. Then there was Michelle Vezilj as Tasha Woode or Ana Steele. She was good. Very funny because of her innocent look. Last was Gabe Bowling as Hugh Hanson or Christian Grey. He was good too. Did a great job with the physical nature of his job. I thought he worked well with the two women.

            The writing is the real star. Hit so many things that are ridiculous about the 50 Shades Trilogy. Particularly addressed the first book. There are some things  from the other two books but a lot less then the 1st book.  Stuff like:

1.      Ana not having a computer.

2.      Christian’s obsessive nature

3.      Ana's sexual and relationship stupidity which is not actual innocence

4.      E.L. James' own horniness.

5.      The low quality of the writing by 'Mrs. James' [one thing that isn't mentioned is the fact that James is a writer for BBC.]

6.      The lack of an actual plot in the books

7.      The ridiculousness of a orgasming the first time having sex

8.      Saying Inner Goddess far too often and like that means something significant

9.      Saying "Long Fingers" when she meant long penis
 

      And so many other ridiculous things. I can't even remember all the things that this parody was on point about. It was so smart. So funny. And so well done.
 

      Plus most of the people in the crowd were likely fans of the work. But I did not hear any boos or derision. Everyone in attendance seemed to be having fun. There is an ill-placed intermission. But it is mostly for a refill and stretch. Everyone was in good spirits.
 

      One good thing for the guys, you could check scores during the intermission. I went on a NCAA tournament day. Got to have priorities. Support MY girl, check. Get the results, check. Everyone happy at the end of the night, check.
 

      All in all, this was a good time. I assume ladies will go with everyone in their book club. Wearing their grey ties or masquerade masks. Guys should go too. With their ladies or without. And everyone who does go will have a good time. Have a your favorite cocktail and laugh out loud!

More ranting. This time about 50 Shades [probably not my last]

A very good friend of mine led me to a web posting that I thought was absurd at first. Until I realized that it was actually genius. The web posting was: http://observer.com/2012/06/bret-easton-ellis-tweets-dream-team-cast-for-50-shades-of-grey-upcoming-lindsay-lohanjames-deen-thriller/

I have read all three of the 50 Shades books. But I can’t say I am expert in them. If I say something in the following rant that is incorrect, it is out of ignorance. But if you respond in the contrary, I would enjoy a thoughtful response. Just hearing that that “I’m stupid” [while it may be true] is not helpful to the discussion.

Now. I am not sure that Lena Dunham is actually the best actress for this role. Mostly because she is much stronger a person then Anastasia Steele from the 50 Shades books. Ms. Dunham is the writer, director and lead actress in her own HBO show. This is not some shrinking violet who will easily fall into the role of a naive young woman who has no real experience with either herself or life. Ana is very different even from the awkward character that Ms. Dunham portrays on “Girls”.

One thing I do know it this, Kate Kavanaugh is better looking and richer than Ana Steele. She should look like it as well. She should exude that. Both glamour and grace. A young lady with style. I am thinking someone like a young Iman or Paulina Porizkova or Heidi Klum. Kate should be model level beautiful not Ana.

While I understand and agree that Christian Grey (Xian) should be played by a male actor that has model like good looks. Guys who are being touted as possible who I agree are appropriate as guys like Ian Somerhalder and Matt Bomer. Xian has to be exquisite. He should look it. Act it. Be it.

But Ana should not be. She should be pretty. But not model ‘gorgeous’. While Lena Dunham is smart in the way Ana must be, witty, sarcastic and biting. She is not good looking enough to be noticed just for her looks. Also, her tattoos will probably take her out of the running for the role as well. They work for her personally but Ana does not and would not have tattoos. That is going to be a nail in the coffin.

While actresses like Alexis Bledel, Nina Dobrev, Emmy Rossum, or Emily Browning [who was Stephenie Meyer’s choice for Bella http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twilight_(2008_film)]   is being named as potential favorite actresses to play Ana. However most of them are more appropriate for Kate Kavanuagh [or better yet Leila who will be a great character to play].

 Same with all the ladies that are being named for Ana. I am not sure though, I believe that Kate might have been blond. If so, someone like Diane Agron is cast, that would be awesome. Kate should be much prettier than Ana.

A better Ana would be Lena Dunham’s cast mate on the show “Girls” Zosia Mamet. Most might argue that Alison William or Jemima Kirke would be better.  I ask why?

Where does it talk about Ana being prettier than Kate? The only people who express interest in Ana are Xian and Jose. Outside of them, Ana is average written and should be portrayed as average. That is how the character should be played. As accurate as possible.

I am certain that Hollywood will screw it up. They so often do.

Like I said, this is all ranting. Amazing that I book I have so many problems with has enthralled me in such a way. I dislike mostly the portrayal of BDSM but also the writing and the general lack of realism in any of it. But is it a copycat of a fantasy book in the Twilight series that have many of the same attributes.

I would like to see the 50 Shades have some good movies. It is possible. Not if they stay true to the books though.

Modern Erotic Trilogies: To/In/With You and 50 Shades

           Despite the fact that lots of people and groups should be mad about the books; [women over 22, women who can’t orgasm, virgins, the entire BDSM community, mothers, fathers, I could go on] The 50 Shades trilogy have done increasing well. I am referring to 50 Shades: of Grey, Darker and Released. These books have made a serious amount of buzz and money for E.L. James.

I will admit to having read all three. I will go so far as to say, before I read the first one, I was very excited to read them. E.L. James did a nice job of fan fiction. Although overall; I did not enjoy any of the books. None of them can stand alone as good writing. Overall I was disappointed by the series as flat and poorly written.

This is mostly because I expected a very good story. Moreover, I expected a VERY sexy story. One that brought a good sex story into characters that are somewhat familiar. I was very let down. The sex was horrible. In the end, the guy has to give up his desires. Not sure what either character comes away from it with. Many people have said how much love Ana and Christian have for each other. But Ana just gets Christian to change for her. That isn’t love. That is simple compliance. And Christian is obsessed with Ana which once again is not love.

There is a book out that is more satisfying in its storyline. Mostly because the characters are slightly more realistic [by slightly I mean very slightly]. But we are not talking Sex and The City vs. Girls type of realism. Just an adjustment of some of the outlandish things.

The book I am referring to is ‘Bared To You’ by Silvia Day. The book is a very adult and very hot. It is the first in a trilogy. The next two are scheduled for release within the next six months. The second book is now out and I am working my way through it.  

It clears up the unrealistic parts of 50 that I won’t give away. But the ‘To/In/With You’ series hopefully will stay in the realm of ‘Super-Rich” but possible. So far, it is pushing the limits of what normal people have access to. It would be nice to see something more realistic but C’est La Vie.

Still these two trilogies will have so many comparisons that it might get lost in the genre of ‘HardCore Adult’/Erotica that has been marginalized to ‘Mommy Porn’ because of their appeal to women and the main characters of both as females.

But both have very similar aspects as apparent below:

50 Shades		To You
Anastasia ‘Ana’ Rose Steele	YOUNG female main character [only child to birth mother and father]	Eva Trammel
Christian Grey	Insanely Rich male main character	Gideon Cross
Harvard	Ivy League School male lead dropped out of to start company	Columbia
Kathryn Kavanaugh	Promiscuous Best friend	Cary Taylor
Leila Williams	Pining Ex-girlfreind of the male character who married someone else	Corrine Giroux
Carla May Wilks Adams	Worrying mother of female	Monica Stanton
Franklin Lambert	Absent birth father of female	Victor Reyes
Robbin (Bob) Adams	Newest Step Father (of 3)	Richard Stanton
Taylor	Driver of the male character	Angus
Elliot Grey	Promiscuous Brother of the male lead	Christopher Vidal Junior
Mia Grey	Younger sister of the male lead	Ireland Vidal
Elena Lincoln	Disillusioned Female Stalker of male main character	Magdalene Perez
Young Brunettes	Type of woman the male lead likes	Young Brunettes

           

I am pulling for Silvia Day because I like her more frank addressing of the issues. Specifically the way she addresses sex. That doesn’t mean I agree totally with her story. But honestly, I think it is more realistic. The underlying reason for their actions actually make some sense.

            This does stand to reason. Silvia Day is a military veteran like me. So I would be drawn more to her. As opposed to E.L. James who is British and I am not sure specifically what she does but it is something to do with TV in the UK.

            The really deflating thing was, after reading Bared To You, I saw that Silvia Day acknowledges E.L. James. That makes me much more suspect of the similarities to the book.

            Silvia Day has said that her book Seven Years to Sin inspired Eva and Gideon. But I am not really sure how having read both. One is about immediate gratification and the other is about long term pinning. Eva and Gideon are much closer to Ana and Christian than Jessica and Alastair. That is just my opinion.

            In all honesty, Seven Years To Sin has a much hotter two characters in Hester and Michael. But that is a whole other story. And a much hotter one!

            The good thing is, there are lots of holes that still need to be filled in for the ‘To/In/With You’ series. I am hoping that Silvia Day goes in a different direction that shows why we should enjoy these characters she is building in Eva and Gideon. And I really hope Silvia Day “keeps it real”.

            As I begin the second book, Reflected In You; I am hopeful that this story is more realistic in figuring the ins and outs of a relationship. All relationships are complicated adding money is not a specially complicating factor. So why make the super rich sympathetic? Millionaires are tortured for the reasons that they themselves control. I could say more but it would give away the plotline. I am hopeful Silvia Day does a better job at addressing this disparity it than E.L. James did.  Because just having to give up something you enjoy is not healthy a healthy relationship message for anyone: male, female, rich, poor, any race, color or creed.