Orgasm – I know it is not this simple but I have to rant about this!

            Men enjoy getting off. That is why we do it. For the simple act of getting off. Not only when we are with a woman. Men get off alone [as known as masturbation]. A lot! And a lot more than we could hope to have sex with a woman. [This is something I speak of with the utmost expertise]

            Why? Because men know something that you ladies don’t. It is up to the individual [him or herself] to get yourself off. It is a personal responsibility. Whether you are alone or with a partner or partners.

            Ladies seem to have this wrongly rom-com notion that it is up to the man to get her off. WRONG!

            I thought about this when reading the following article from Dan Savage on the Stranger online: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=16701721.

In this, you see it implied that the husband is blaming the wife for her inability to orgasms when they have sex. That implication is correct!

The wife seems to think her husband is responsible for her orgasms. That is wrong!

She [the wife] is responsible for her own orgasms. Every time she has sex, she is the only one responsible for her orgasms. Her alone; whether with someone else or alone. So her consternation about not being able to orgasms with him, that is her fault not his.

            Let me put this a different way. I have talked about male masturbation. But the same should apply to female masturbation as well. Whenever someone is masturbating no matter what sex; I think most people would say it is their own responsibility to get off when they are alone. Probably not on anyone else, right? I mean how could it be? No one else is there.

            So let’s go to the other extreme. If a woman is in a gangbang of three men or more; whose responsible for her orgasm then? The 3^rd guy? The 6^th guy? The 8^th guy? Where does it fall? I think if you ask any woman who has been in one, she will say, she was so excited she couldn’t stop orgasming.

So there is no one other than the woman herself who gets herself off. There are just other guys in the room at the same time. How many or what the guys are doing; usually the woman has no idea. Nor does she care.   She is too busy getting off.

            But guess what, it was her excitement getting things done. Not because she was attracted to every guy in the room. Not because she was in love with them. She may not even lust after the guys. She is getting off on the attraction. On the fact that the guys are there for her. Being the center of attention. That is the hook.

            Same goes for a one on one. The guy is getting himself off. But the woman is the center of his attention.

            And if she wasn’t; he would just masturbate. Trust me, it is a lot easier.

            In the end, do women enjoy getting off? I ask that because most women do not act like they do. Men could give a shit what it seems like. Men are too busy getting off.

The women I have met that do enjoy getting off, they get off in a way that is so awesome it is a great experience for all involved. So outside looking in, when a woman owns her orgasm it is AWESOME! All women need to take full responsibility for their orgasms to they can enjoy them more and every time they have sex. And stop worrying about where it was through penis in vagina sex. He obviously doesn’t or else he would ask you to stop. Has he? NO! Because in the end, your orgasm is your’ responsibility, not his.

Sick of open not being open.

            The ‘news media’ will do anything to try and sell. One thing that is no surprise, they use sex. No just news but everything. The names of shows are the latest ploy: Wife Swap, Pawn Stars. These are obvious play on words and or situations that are sex based. Why? Salaciousness sells.

            News stories like to try and use porn stars to sell their stories. Bill O’Reilly did this a bunch back around 2000 to 2002, when I used to watch him. Actually, it was one way yelling [mostly me yelling at him]. Stories about porn stars on papers. Bree Olson hanging out with Charlie Sheen. Things like that. Why even mention what she does? Does anyone know what the other ‘goddess’ does? Even remember her name? But Salaciousness sells so mention that someone is hanging out with a porn star and it is news. Actually is it is old ‘news’; Charlie Sheen used to hang out with Ginger Lynn as well so it wasn’t the first time Sheen did this.

            Lately, I have seen news stories about famous couples with open marriages. There was an unconfirmed uproar that Jada Pinkett and Will Smith have an open marriage. I never saw any stories that actually confirmed other partners. But that wasn’t the point. Just the insinuation got tongues wagging. Got me to click on it. But, no substance.

            Same has happened with other stories as well. The cover of Essence magazine for July 2006 reeled me in by saying that the main story was the actress Monique, Oscar winner, and her husband have an open marriage and she was going to talk about. In fact, also said it was self-love and open marriage.

            Got me.

            The self-love wasn’t masturbation. It was just about pride. There is nothing wrong with that. But it was salacious way of putting it.

            And the open marriage, not so much. It is the future option to be open. Actually, it is the ability to have sex with someone else and still be married. Ok. So they are forgiving. Or they think they will be. But open. No. That is not open. That is just forgiving, maybe, in the future, if it happens. Maybe. BS.

            Same with Bethanny Frankel and her husband. She has a talk show or something? Anyway, I saw a thing online that she confessed to an open marriage.

            Got me.

            Is it open? No. Each one of them has a celebrity pass or hall pass or whatever you want to call it. He has one female celebrity. She has one male celebrity. Once again, this is just forgiveness.

Now, in her defense, Frankel actually called it what it is. It was another website I won’t mention that tried to make more of it. But why? It was actually just false.

            This was brought up watching a movie Swinging with the Finkels. I will spoil the movie. But what the frak? The title does not fit the movie. This is not the first time Hollywood did or does or will do this, using sex to sell. But Hollywood could actually have sex in it. They choose not to. Why? Why not just have the sex?

            Don’t get me started about 50 Shades. I am so frakkin mad about that. But that is a rant that won’t stop. I am so upset with that but that is for another time.

            Anyway, I am sure there are people who are open. They swing. They have times on, times off. Why is that so taboo? Seriously. People cheat or are monogamous. Some of actually monogamish too. I am sick of hearing it just doesn’t work. Heck, monogamous doesn’t always work either. UGH. Now I am ranting and it is not making sense.

            In the end, if you are going to use sex to sell, actually have some sex in the story.