I pushed TyRoy into starting this blog so that he and I could.... express things in writing that were already going on in our heads. At the time, I think we were probably a bit too wrapped up in each other to contribute much to anything, so nothing got written. Now, as the living and relationship situation between TyRoy and I has changed, I think that we had both either forgotten about the blog or intentionally ignored it's existence. But I still think that typing out our less mainstream (sexual) thoughts would be helpful to us, so I'm going to attempt to keep the blog up. We'll see.
While I intend to write a blog about my changing BDSM desires, I really just have to get out there that I'm going even crazier sexually than usual. I think it's the depression. Looking back, last summer and fall I went through a bit of this same thing. I had ample things pushing the depression at the time, including family illness, my own physical health issues, and anti-depression medication that had pooped out on me after seven years. Not that I'm lacking things now either. But last summer I also had the amazingly freeing experience of having a male lover and friend who showed me that sex outside of monogamous relationships, especially when one goes into it with their eyes wide open, could be not just fun and fulfilling but also guilt-free. I took that to heart and explored quite a bit. Looking back, I wouldn't change any of the experiences that I had, even the not so great ones. And it lead me to BT. Lead me to TyRoy. *Sigh* But now, as the depression induced nymphomania rears it's needy head again, I have few choices for finding relief in that way. Echoing something I've read recently, when you starve one hunger, another hunger will rise up to take it's place. The sex is usually the least destructive of those hungers. Grrrrrr.
Well, it's been awhile since I slept and my (lonely) bed is calling.