In Episode 6 of Series 2 of the British version of “The Office”, Gareth receives a phone call. He puts it on speaker. It is from a woman named Anne who wants him to come to her home that night. At first, Gareth is not going to go in favor of a night out with the boys to Chasers. At some point in the conversation; Gareth says that he will indeed be coming over but not for an entire evening. Before leaving for a night out with his friends; one of which is Augie. She asks, “Are you going to bring the toys again?” At which point, Gareth picks up the phone and you can barely hear the rest of the conversation. The only thing significant that he does say is, “Yeah, look forward to doing it to you, too.”
Leaving the question, what toys? What did they do? Was it just to her, as he said? He have the toys used on him as well? What wonderful toys does Gareth have to bring?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sexual Mysteries Part 1
In Richard North Patterson’s Escape the Night, one of the characters is the owner of a large corporation, the antagonist J. J. Englehardt. He is bent on revenge against the Carey family. Specifically, the protagonist Peter Carey. I believe it is because Englehardt’s own father was an insurance man who killed himself after a lawsuit following a policy that went wrong. Englehardt is so focused that he does not want the liabilities of a family or attachments that might take his focus away from his singular pursuit of revenge. He does of course have basic needs. One of which is sexual release. Englehardt hires a secretary particularly for her own predicament. She is a widowed mother who needs her job worse than most. Part of the agreement they have is, she will perform one of three acts every month but only once a month. At some point during the book, she becomes engaged. But Englehardt will not allow her out of their agreement. I am unsure as to why she must continue to work. Or if she does, why there?
Why she didn’t try to find a replacement for these acts at some point? I understand that then, she is just trapping some other woman. But, doesn’t she want her own quality of life? You would think, as the part of a company, she would have heard of another woman who would have participated. Possibly even gladly. Probably for personal gain to move up in the company. But honestly, why would the secretary care? I would think she would just want out. But Englehardt would have been much more savvy than to get trapped, I believe. It was just an interesting thing. But left totally up in the air. I wish I could have known what the three acts were. Maybe someday I will get to ask Richard North Patterson himself.
Why she didn’t try to find a replacement for these acts at some point? I understand that then, she is just trapping some other woman. But, doesn’t she want her own quality of life? You would think, as the part of a company, she would have heard of another woman who would have participated. Possibly even gladly. Probably for personal gain to move up in the company. But honestly, why would the secretary care? I would think she would just want out. But Englehardt would have been much more savvy than to get trapped, I believe. It was just an interesting thing. But left totally up in the air. I wish I could have known what the three acts were. Maybe someday I will get to ask Richard North Patterson himself.
Friday, July 10, 2009
I can do better.... give better advice that is
I felt so moved by this letter from Dear Prudence that I decided to write what my answer is to this issue. I think I can’t reprint Prudence’s reply because of copyright or I might sued and I really don’t want to. So here is the link:
http://www.slate.com/id/2222012/?gt1=38001
Here is the original question:
Several years ago, I moved to South America. During my first few months there, I became fast friends with a local man. He was a wonderful source of help during an otherwise lonely time. After several months of friendship, we started a relationship, which lasted only briefly, as we realized that we were better friends than lovers. Eventually, I moved back home to the United States. My friend recently contacted me to tell me he is coming here for several months for work. I was thrilled at the chance to see him again and happy to help him navigate my country as he helped me in his. I'm now engaged, however, and my fiance was furious. He told me that all past relationships should stay in the past and that I should not be in contact with this man. I offered to see my friend only with my fiance present or with a group of friends, but he wouldn't accept that. As a threat, my fiance said he was going to start contacting his ex-girlfriends. He has trust issues because his mother cheated on his father and her other husbands. I can't stand the thought of hurting my fiance, but I don't want my friend to have to navigate a foreign country alone, either. I also don't want to bear the burden of my fiance's mother's mistakes. What should I do?
So here is my reply:
What is more important: your fiancée’s happiness or showing this guy around? I know it should be a one or the other. But I think that it is in this short time situation. So which is it?
I am going to assume that since you accepted his proposal and didn’t want to even date the friend; you are more invested in your fiancée’s happiness. So going with that, isn’t there another way to make sure your friend gets around other than you personally doing the showing? Also, you said the friend is coming to the U.S but didn’t say that he is coming to the town you live in. I am assuming he is coming to your town. And you mentioned having friends around. Here is a solution that makes sure your friend gets around and placated your fiancée. You can have one of the friends that would be around just do the showing around. You can get them, the two friends, in contact with one another now so they can get to know one another and won’t be complete strangers. Then your friend has a guide and your fiancée is still happy.
Your fiancée does have an ongoing problem. First is his immaturity. His threat to start contacting his ex girlfriends is very immature. This is not for you to say to him though. You two both need to go to couples counseling. If the counselor doesn’t address this, then you can in a session. But one on one will not be the best way to address. And don’t let money be an issue. You can do this with a pastor, priest, preacher, reverend because they are tried trained to do this and I am sure you can find a church in your area whether you go to one or not.
Your fiancée probably also needs individual counseling. He needs to deal with his trust issues. How would he deal with you going with a male coworker somewhere in the same car? If he can’t get over his trust issues and realize that not every woman is alike, you are in for a lot of future confrontations. Also, if you have a daughter, he could be a very negative influence in how he treats her. He could spread that mistrust.
He might not want to do individual counseling or couples counseling. But you have control over yourself. I definitely would go to counseling with or without him. And really think about what you are getting into, what you will have to go through and realize that you are making a commitment. And make a determination whether you are ready to make that commitment to him and yourself.
Good Luck In All Endeavors
P.S. It is fiancée not fiancé.
http://www.slate.com/id/2222012/?gt1=38001
Here is the original question:
Several years ago, I moved to South America. During my first few months there, I became fast friends with a local man. He was a wonderful source of help during an otherwise lonely time. After several months of friendship, we started a relationship, which lasted only briefly, as we realized that we were better friends than lovers. Eventually, I moved back home to the United States. My friend recently contacted me to tell me he is coming here for several months for work. I was thrilled at the chance to see him again and happy to help him navigate my country as he helped me in his. I'm now engaged, however, and my fiance was furious. He told me that all past relationships should stay in the past and that I should not be in contact with this man. I offered to see my friend only with my fiance present or with a group of friends, but he wouldn't accept that. As a threat, my fiance said he was going to start contacting his ex-girlfriends. He has trust issues because his mother cheated on his father and her other husbands. I can't stand the thought of hurting my fiance, but I don't want my friend to have to navigate a foreign country alone, either. I also don't want to bear the burden of my fiance's mother's mistakes. What should I do?
So here is my reply:
What is more important: your fiancée’s happiness or showing this guy around? I know it should be a one or the other. But I think that it is in this short time situation. So which is it?
I am going to assume that since you accepted his proposal and didn’t want to even date the friend; you are more invested in your fiancée’s happiness. So going with that, isn’t there another way to make sure your friend gets around other than you personally doing the showing? Also, you said the friend is coming to the U.S but didn’t say that he is coming to the town you live in. I am assuming he is coming to your town. And you mentioned having friends around. Here is a solution that makes sure your friend gets around and placated your fiancée. You can have one of the friends that would be around just do the showing around. You can get them, the two friends, in contact with one another now so they can get to know one another and won’t be complete strangers. Then your friend has a guide and your fiancée is still happy.
Your fiancée does have an ongoing problem. First is his immaturity. His threat to start contacting his ex girlfriends is very immature. This is not for you to say to him though. You two both need to go to couples counseling. If the counselor doesn’t address this, then you can in a session. But one on one will not be the best way to address. And don’t let money be an issue. You can do this with a pastor, priest, preacher, reverend because they are tried trained to do this and I am sure you can find a church in your area whether you go to one or not.
Your fiancée probably also needs individual counseling. He needs to deal with his trust issues. How would he deal with you going with a male coworker somewhere in the same car? If he can’t get over his trust issues and realize that not every woman is alike, you are in for a lot of future confrontations. Also, if you have a daughter, he could be a very negative influence in how he treats her. He could spread that mistrust.
He might not want to do individual counseling or couples counseling. But you have control over yourself. I definitely would go to counseling with or without him. And really think about what you are getting into, what you will have to go through and realize that you are making a commitment. And make a determination whether you are ready to make that commitment to him and yourself.
Good Luck In All Endeavors
P.S. It is fiancée not fiancé.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Just ranting
So all this is about is ranting. Loosely related to sex but not really.
Gary Staton, 37 left nine kids at a hospital. I really don’t understand how he got a 17 year old to actually go along with it but he did. And now, the formerly overwhelmed “father” has donated half the DNA needed to make two more children. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529597,00.html?test=latestnews
How?
Who is this Gail who got pregnant by this man? Seriously? Why would you have sex with a man who abandoned? I don’t mean be friends? I really don’t understand that either. I mean seriously, who wants to be friends with a dead beat? That is what he is. He is a DEADBEAT.
But apparently he has changed. Now that family members, who I would believe he did know before he dropped his kids off, are feeding, clothing and taking care of his kids.
The story says that he is seeing his kids. Is he feeding his kids? Is his caring for them?
Now he is adding to it. I am not letting Gail off the hook either. They both did this. But why would you even talk to someone who abandons children?
Why did he have nine kids to begin with? He obviously couldn’t take care of these children.
Why does he still have the ability to have children? Why didn’t he do the responsible thing and get a vasectomy?
I think the answer to all of this is he doesn’t blame himself. If you read the above article from FOX news, no one blames him. No one. Not his kids. Not the in laws who are doing his job. No one.
I hope that Gail’s family takes note of this.
And where are the Christians? Christians love babies but don’t seem as attached to kids. If they were, where are / were they for these kid nine kids?
You know, I love sex. I feel that everyone should enjoy it. But not if it is going to have consequences for you or the ones you love. If you can’t take care of the kids you have, you shouldn’t be having more. I am not saying that everyone should do as I say, although, that would make the world a much better place. But why should I have to take care of your kids, in any way. We have public schools. Looks like soon we will have public health care. I understand the benefits. But still, it honestly pisses me off that I have to take care of other people in any way.
I understand that these kids don’t live in my state. They have been taken in by relatives, which is where they should have been to begin with. But will these next two end up there too? I hope not. But history is not on their side.
Melissa Rycroft is engaged, four months after being outraged that the fiancée dropped her. Where is the outrage? Where is the Bachelor dude? Why isn’t he outraged now? Doesn’t he have the right? Was she sleeping with him while she was supposed to be falling in love in Seattle?
All these dating shows are just not fair. There should be more than just one guy and twenty girls. There should be more even numbers. And they should have to pick each other. Then, these shows would have more of a realistic feel to them.
But really, all these shows should be on the Playboy or Spice channel. They should be forced to have sex to ensure compatibility. I have heard that it happens from time to time on The Real World and Big Brother- especially on the versions from other countries. I think that the ratings would be through the roof. By the way, I have that thought patented.
One more thing, soul mates, sex and marriage. Seriously, what is the deal? This is in response to Governor Sanford. He doesn’t like or love his wife? Seriously? And what exactly is a soul mate? I am just ranting now. But what the blood clot.
I love sex. Love it. But it seems that it is making people do some extremely crazy things here lately. And I don’t like when people use the issue in the wrong way.
Sex should be for fun and enjoyment and making people’s life’s better. I am sure Mrs. Sanford feels bad. But I doubt that the Governor even knows what soul mates are. Because why would you sleep with a soul mate? He needed a new sex mate.
We are finding out that reality now that the news that he was having inappropriate relations with women for years now. Sounds like he was kissing and feeling women up. Which is not very soul mate of him, huh?
First, Sanford should try and not handle this in the public. Neither should Rycroft. And Staton should get a vasectomy. And the rest of the world should listen to me on all matters of sex. I think that is a good idea. Yeah, I can’t give that one up. What do you think?
Seriously, I am totally off track, upset and barely making sense. Ranting and out of control but that is not new. And I have a warped sense of right and wrong. My libertine ways would definitely redefine all marriages. And no one wants that because I doubt anyone could deal with that type of happiness.
My libertine ways would alleviate the conservative guilt that is there. As well as alleviate people of this sense of ownership over others. I am sure that Mrs. Sanford feels bad since her husband goes out either looking for or getting strange wherever. But if she realized that him coming home to her, when he feels like it seems, is better for her then being alone. And I bet she would be content. Seeing as how she probably doesn’t give him “enough” sex. Why not let him get his happy on?
But I am intrigued as to way people do the things that they do. Or why. Or are they just not paying attention at all? I am not sure what the truth is. But I wish I could skip the stories when I see them. I just can’t. They are just so tempting. And then I get upset. And then I start typing. And now you are reading my ranting. Well I can’t rant more. This is random thoughts but I had to type out some of it. I hope that you weren’t bored.
Keep it Kinky
Gary Staton, 37 left nine kids at a hospital. I really don’t understand how he got a 17 year old to actually go along with it but he did. And now, the formerly overwhelmed “father” has donated half the DNA needed to make two more children. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,529597,00.html?test=latestnews
How?
Who is this Gail who got pregnant by this man? Seriously? Why would you have sex with a man who abandoned? I don’t mean be friends? I really don’t understand that either. I mean seriously, who wants to be friends with a dead beat? That is what he is. He is a DEADBEAT.
But apparently he has changed. Now that family members, who I would believe he did know before he dropped his kids off, are feeding, clothing and taking care of his kids.
The story says that he is seeing his kids. Is he feeding his kids? Is his caring for them?
Now he is adding to it. I am not letting Gail off the hook either. They both did this. But why would you even talk to someone who abandons children?
Why did he have nine kids to begin with? He obviously couldn’t take care of these children.
Why does he still have the ability to have children? Why didn’t he do the responsible thing and get a vasectomy?
I think the answer to all of this is he doesn’t blame himself. If you read the above article from FOX news, no one blames him. No one. Not his kids. Not the in laws who are doing his job. No one.
I hope that Gail’s family takes note of this.
And where are the Christians? Christians love babies but don’t seem as attached to kids. If they were, where are / were they for these kid nine kids?
You know, I love sex. I feel that everyone should enjoy it. But not if it is going to have consequences for you or the ones you love. If you can’t take care of the kids you have, you shouldn’t be having more. I am not saying that everyone should do as I say, although, that would make the world a much better place. But why should I have to take care of your kids, in any way. We have public schools. Looks like soon we will have public health care. I understand the benefits. But still, it honestly pisses me off that I have to take care of other people in any way.
I understand that these kids don’t live in my state. They have been taken in by relatives, which is where they should have been to begin with. But will these next two end up there too? I hope not. But history is not on their side.
Melissa Rycroft is engaged, four months after being outraged that the fiancée dropped her. Where is the outrage? Where is the Bachelor dude? Why isn’t he outraged now? Doesn’t he have the right? Was she sleeping with him while she was supposed to be falling in love in Seattle?
All these dating shows are just not fair. There should be more than just one guy and twenty girls. There should be more even numbers. And they should have to pick each other. Then, these shows would have more of a realistic feel to them.
But really, all these shows should be on the Playboy or Spice channel. They should be forced to have sex to ensure compatibility. I have heard that it happens from time to time on The Real World and Big Brother- especially on the versions from other countries. I think that the ratings would be through the roof. By the way, I have that thought patented.
One more thing, soul mates, sex and marriage. Seriously, what is the deal? This is in response to Governor Sanford. He doesn’t like or love his wife? Seriously? And what exactly is a soul mate? I am just ranting now. But what the blood clot.
I love sex. Love it. But it seems that it is making people do some extremely crazy things here lately. And I don’t like when people use the issue in the wrong way.
Sex should be for fun and enjoyment and making people’s life’s better. I am sure Mrs. Sanford feels bad. But I doubt that the Governor even knows what soul mates are. Because why would you sleep with a soul mate? He needed a new sex mate.
We are finding out that reality now that the news that he was having inappropriate relations with women for years now. Sounds like he was kissing and feeling women up. Which is not very soul mate of him, huh?
First, Sanford should try and not handle this in the public. Neither should Rycroft. And Staton should get a vasectomy. And the rest of the world should listen to me on all matters of sex. I think that is a good idea. Yeah, I can’t give that one up. What do you think?
Seriously, I am totally off track, upset and barely making sense. Ranting and out of control but that is not new. And I have a warped sense of right and wrong. My libertine ways would definitely redefine all marriages. And no one wants that because I doubt anyone could deal with that type of happiness.
My libertine ways would alleviate the conservative guilt that is there. As well as alleviate people of this sense of ownership over others. I am sure that Mrs. Sanford feels bad since her husband goes out either looking for or getting strange wherever. But if she realized that him coming home to her, when he feels like it seems, is better for her then being alone. And I bet she would be content. Seeing as how she probably doesn’t give him “enough” sex. Why not let him get his happy on?
But I am intrigued as to way people do the things that they do. Or why. Or are they just not paying attention at all? I am not sure what the truth is. But I wish I could skip the stories when I see them. I just can’t. They are just so tempting. And then I get upset. And then I start typing. And now you are reading my ranting. Well I can’t rant more. This is random thoughts but I had to type out some of it. I hope that you weren’t bored.
Keep it Kinky
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