There are a couple of things that I want to do, in the sexual realm, which I am constantly thinking about. Not obsessively in a way that I can’t do anything else. But it is like Musak in the background of my life. Constantly running in the background.
My real problem is not the thoughts. It is proper execution. I don’t want to fail. So I am dragging my feet on it.
When this blog started, or was started for me by my friend, I wanted to at the very least use it to get these thoughts down and on the record. That was a long time ago, well earlier this year. And I never really made much headway.
I am in a better place. First, monetarily even though I am not trying to spend a lot of money on this or for this. It is supposed to be fun. But I don’t want to lose a bunch of money over it. But I realize also, it will take some funds.
Then there are my computer issues. My regular work issues. Just a whole bunch of issues that I allowed to keep me back. But it is time to at least get my thoughts out there. Start spit balling solutions. So I can figure out if they are feasible, ever or never. Some might not be feasible, here and now. Others will be but later.
The big one that I think would be most rewarding and easiest to bringing to life would be putting together a crew of Black men to have sex with women. I wouldn’t limit the experience to for the women to just one race.
This is not original, I know. But it is something that interests me to think about the management of this type of group. How to do it, or When, or Where. I came up with generic questions for any participants. It follows:
I am looking for a single woman or the wife of a couple or a group or women who want to be involved in gangbang. I am looking to put together a group of Black men to have sexual relations with a woman or group of women.
If you were keen on being a part of a gangbang would you prefer?
Your Rules
1. Initial Meeting
A. Would you meet them one time or more to get used to them before any sexual action happened?
B. Would you prefer to guarantee sex by the end of the night?
C. Leave your options open so that you can be in more control of the situation?
2. Would you limit them? (For example: no kissing, no anal, specific things that are off limits)
3. Would you want your husband to join in?
4. Initial Action Place
A. Your home?
B. Home of one of the guys?
C. Hotel/Motel? (Who chooses and pays)
D. Other place that I haven’t thought of?
The Guys
1. Meeting the guys
A. Meeting the guys and approving of them?
B. Using e-mail replies to approve guys, kind of a pick and choose?
C. Having a trusted observer (husband or me) picks the guys?
2. Meeting Place
A. Restaurant?
B. Bar?
C. Dance Club?
D. Action Place?
3. Guys’ familiarity with each other.
A. The guys don’t know each other prior to getting with you
B. The guys do know each other prior to getting with you
4. If they were an actual team who do this occasionally with others
A. You would want you own dedicated team?
B. You wouldn’t limit what they do on their free time?
I have thought about this. But not sure where I would start. Kind of chicken and egg dilemma. But I am going to do it at some point. Just need to figure out how to start. And once it gets going, it actually wouldn’t be too difficult. Actually, that depends on how many reliable guys I could get.
I don’t think there is a shortage of women o couples who want something like this. It may not be a constant thing for them. But having willing guys who don’t flake out, that is rare.
I guess also that I could take race out of it. But that wouldn’t be my “dream”. Maybe as a secondary challenge, like having a chocolate and vanilla team. But for now, I think I am going to stick with what I want, for now.
But assuming I can find the guys. Guys are generally pretty easy to at least get to answer a craig’s list ad. But where the rubber meets the road is, would they show? I mean a first meeting and the guys are going to want to get down to business, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t, I mean start having sex with a female. I would need some bait. I am thinking that just being upfront about using a woman or couple as bait might be the best way to go.
But, I fear not doing this correctly. There is a big risk with hurt feelings of any woman who isn’t able to get the guys to show. Would there be alternates?
Another problem would come when a woman wants a specific number of guys [like four and only four]. Ensuring that all four show up, no more no less will be a pickle. Once again, do I have an alternate? A pinch hitter?
Last problem is the logistics. I am not catering a party but that might make for a livelier crowd. So do I charge for food? If I get a hotel, how to pay for that? If I knew about systems like Pay Pal, I would be in the clear. I could just use that. But, I will have to study up a bit.
This is all stuff I can work out. And I am sure I will. But for now, it is in the planning stages. How long will it take to get going? Only knows. But, I will keep planning until I think I have the right formula. Keep your fingers crossed.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Ava's Response to The Challenge
Here is what my ad said:
Headline: Sex Outside the Box
Looking for a man to explore alternative sexual outlets with. Must be honest and open, as I am very on both accounts. I am bi, switch, and open to sexual encounters with more than one partner at a time. It would be great if you were at least the last one, though some level of all three is best. And you should know what all three mean too. You must be ok with the fact that I am not single and will not be monogamous with you, though I will be as honest as you would like about my other partners, as you should be as well. Physically, I am 26 y/o, 5'5", cute and curvy with a few extra pounds, blue eyes, longer curly brown hair, pierced and tattooed. I am also intelligent, curious, outspoken, and caring. Your pic gets mine. I don't have any age, race, looks requirements, but we obviously must both be attracted to each other. You must also be mature, respectful, and not overly pushy. If you are interested in a pretty female playmate who wants to learn about your deepest, darkest desires and make them a reality, email me.
I am currently still e-mailing and IMing back and forth with maybe a dozen people, out of the 60-70 initial responses that I recieved.
First I would like to respond to a specific point that my male counterpart had made in his post. I didn't necessarily feel offended or more objectified than any woman in our society generally does by what he said, nor did I think he wanted to stuff and mount me for future generations of men to see. I have always been flattered when he asserted that I was special in this area. Sex is probably my favority hobby , followed a close second by (little r) relationships with other people. It's nice to have it confirmed by him that I am good at both of these things. But I felt like he thought I was SPECIAL and that, since he felt like no other women could be special in that way, he'd never really attempt to look for someone like me sexually and settle for less, which I don't want for him. And, even more than anything else, I guess I just got tired of his superiority when he spoke of it.
On to my results and analysis thereof. I did get quite a few responses. Many more than TyRoy. But that doesn't mean they were quality responses or even that they were responding specifically to my ad, but rather to a woman looking for sex without a commitment. I suppose I should have been more specific, but I wasn't because I didn't think I would get ANY responses at all, much less the sheer volume I recieved. As I said above, I'm still talking to about a dozen people, of the initial 60-70 responses that I recieved. Of those, only a couple of them really interest me. The rest I'm keeping an open mind on. But a great deal has surprised me about this experience. A great many of my views about men and sex have been confirmed, some of my ideas about females and couples have been flipped, and somethings have just flat out surprised me.
Things confirmed about men (at least men who visit craigslist) and ideas challenged about females/couples:
What just flat out surprised me wa sthe number of men who say they want to be submissive, who've participated in threesomes where there were two guys and one girl, and who want to get pegged. (Most of the time, these three things occur together.) I should probably quantify this with the evidence at least half of the men who say they want to be submissive don't mean it in the way I take submissive to mean. They may want to be submissive in that they want the female in charge and calling the shots for once. But my test to see if they mean it in the sense that I do is to direct them to get more informed on bdsm in general (common protocols, ways in which they might be asked to serve, etc) and then email me back with their thoughts on what they'd read. I have not gotten that response email back from the first two guys that I instructed to do this at this time. I'm giving the others a bit more time before I give up on them. I honestly just think that these guys just wanted a little (tame) slap and tickle with the woman in charge and to be pegged. Nothing wrong with that, per say, but I want something more from a submissive.
So I'm still weeding through what's left because I can't see everyone unless they all wanted to pitch in money for my upkeep, so I wouldn't have to get a real job.
And I think TyRoy is completely silly for dismissing a two women one man threesome as his prize just because he isn't looking for a steady girl right now. As he'd kindly give me a two male one female threesome experience if I requested one, I think it's only fair to try to do the same for him with bringing in another girl. She doesn't have to be a steady and we can present ourselves as a couple. But I guess, as it is his prize, he can have whatever he wants.
Headline: Sex Outside the Box
Looking for a man to explore alternative sexual outlets with. Must be honest and open, as I am very on both accounts. I am bi, switch, and open to sexual encounters with more than one partner at a time. It would be great if you were at least the last one, though some level of all three is best. And you should know what all three mean too. You must be ok with the fact that I am not single and will not be monogamous with you, though I will be as honest as you would like about my other partners, as you should be as well. Physically, I am 26 y/o, 5'5", cute and curvy with a few extra pounds, blue eyes, longer curly brown hair, pierced and tattooed. I am also intelligent, curious, outspoken, and caring. Your pic gets mine. I don't have any age, race, looks requirements, but we obviously must both be attracted to each other. You must also be mature, respectful, and not overly pushy. If you are interested in a pretty female playmate who wants to learn about your deepest, darkest desires and make them a reality, email me.
I am currently still e-mailing and IMing back and forth with maybe a dozen people, out of the 60-70 initial responses that I recieved.
First I would like to respond to a specific point that my male counterpart had made in his post. I didn't necessarily feel offended or more objectified than any woman in our society generally does by what he said, nor did I think he wanted to stuff and mount me for future generations of men to see. I have always been flattered when he asserted that I was special in this area. Sex is probably my favority hobby , followed a close second by (little r) relationships with other people. It's nice to have it confirmed by him that I am good at both of these things. But I felt like he thought I was SPECIAL and that, since he felt like no other women could be special in that way, he'd never really attempt to look for someone like me sexually and settle for less, which I don't want for him. And, even more than anything else, I guess I just got tired of his superiority when he spoke of it.
On to my results and analysis thereof. I did get quite a few responses. Many more than TyRoy. But that doesn't mean they were quality responses or even that they were responding specifically to my ad, but rather to a woman looking for sex without a commitment. I suppose I should have been more specific, but I wasn't because I didn't think I would get ANY responses at all, much less the sheer volume I recieved. As I said above, I'm still talking to about a dozen people, of the initial 60-70 responses that I recieved. Of those, only a couple of them really interest me. The rest I'm keeping an open mind on. But a great deal has surprised me about this experience. A great many of my views about men and sex have been confirmed, some of my ideas about females and couples have been flipped, and somethings have just flat out surprised me.
Things confirmed about men (at least men who visit craigslist) and ideas challenged about females/couples:
- There are ALOT of married men online looking for sex and alot of married men with kids. They can be quite shameless about it as well. One man's email address was bobbyandsuesdad (names changed of course).
- Even when you direct men not to be pushy, in your initial ad, they still will be. (Also see "not really reading the ad" above.) I stipulate public first meetings during hours when regular people are out and about, which may or may not lead to doing anything physical directly after the meeting or anytime in the future. But I'm always surprised by the number of people who don't get this. I also don't like it when someone pushes for a meet within the first few lines of your first IM conversation. I always make it clear that I want something ongoing and the things that I want take a bit of trust, so I'm not going to meet you without chatting with you a bit. So stop being so godsdamn pushy! I had one guy push for meetings whenever he'd catch me online, at 1 am and 5am, without a public meeting. I initially gave him some leeway because he was one of the few (self-proclaimed) experienced Doms who responded to my ad and I would like to continue to pursue that as well as other avenues. But it was just too much.
- Surprisingly, it isn't just men. both of the couples who answered wanted the threesome to happen within a couple days, if not that very day. Fortunately, they agreed to putting off for a bit and having a public meeting first. But this pressure is what surprised me about the females and couples- the pressure and how fast they wanted to move. I know that few people want to play email tag forever but I'd also think that you'd want more time to scope out people, feel comfortable. I guess I thought that the females in these couples would be mroe cautious about bringing another female into their home and their bed. Obviously, I was wrong.
What just flat out surprised me wa sthe number of men who say they want to be submissive, who've participated in threesomes where there were two guys and one girl, and who want to get pegged. (Most of the time, these three things occur together.) I should probably quantify this with the evidence at least half of the men who say they want to be submissive don't mean it in the way I take submissive to mean. They may want to be submissive in that they want the female in charge and calling the shots for once. But my test to see if they mean it in the sense that I do is to direct them to get more informed on bdsm in general (common protocols, ways in which they might be asked to serve, etc) and then email me back with their thoughts on what they'd read. I have not gotten that response email back from the first two guys that I instructed to do this at this time. I'm giving the others a bit more time before I give up on them. I honestly just think that these guys just wanted a little (tame) slap and tickle with the woman in charge and to be pegged. Nothing wrong with that, per say, but I want something more from a submissive.
So I'm still weeding through what's left because I can't see everyone unless they all wanted to pitch in money for my upkeep, so I wouldn't have to get a real job.
And I think TyRoy is completely silly for dismissing a two women one man threesome as his prize just because he isn't looking for a steady girl right now. As he'd kindly give me a two male one female threesome experience if I requested one, I think it's only fair to try to do the same for him with bringing in another girl. She doesn't have to be a steady and we can present ourselves as a couple. But I guess, as it is his prize, he can have whatever he wants.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
The Challenge
I would constantly mention to my female friend how rare it is to find a woman with an open mind about sex, sexual relationships, pornography, and life in general. While she is very open to learning about and even trying a lot of different sexual situations, she would not agree that she is rare. She believes that there are plenty of women out there ready to explore new and different types of relationships beyond the simple, monogamous, or attempted monogamous, one female with one male relationship.
Partly because when I phrased it, I made her sound as if she was unique amongst a limited edition of women. Like she would be stuffed and mounted, not in a sexual way, when dies so that other generations of men will know she existed at one time. No matter how truly special and valued she is, it does make her sound like more like an object. And no one wants to be an object. She never told me she felt like this, so this may all be bull. But I imagine that is some of what fueled her disgust at my notion.
I was mostly joking about the fact as well. Often times acting like a crack addict. If you have seen the Chappelle’s Show character Tyrone Biggums, I would act in the same mannerisms substituting being with my female friend as my crack. I am an addicted to being around her.
I think we joked about this for about six months now before she was pretty much fed up with it. So I decided to get up off my hump and prove it to her. To show her that men will respond to a sexually open women much faster and in greater quantity (if not quality) than women will respond to a sexually open men. I have lots of data to back up my hypothesis. But I won’t go into here.
Just as a side note, I predicted that most if not all of my responses to a guy looking for a woman would be fake. If you are guy you know the ones I am talking about. They lead you to a dating site or some such none sense. Any guy who has posted on anything other than a Match.com or E-Harmony knows what I am talking about.
I decided we would individually write Craig’s List ads and post them. Here is where things may have been unfair. Her ad was on w4m (woman for man). Mine was on m4w. This may not have been the best place for mine. Mine probably should have been in mw4w. The best way to demonstrate why is to simply put the ad up in here. So without further ado:
Title: Must Like Porn
I am looking for someone who wants to have some fun. Adult fun. Expand their horizons a bit. Your view should include matters of a sexual nature. And if we are friends too, well, I guess that would be a nice bonus. Seriously, I want to have a female friend that has a good sense of humor who wants to try some new things.
So I guess you want to know about me. I am a Black Man. I am 5’11”. I weigh about 190 pounds. I keep my black hair short. I have brown eyes. DDF and V-Safe.
So what kind of fun?
Well let’s start off short quiz. If you saw me with my current female lover would you:
a. Watch me and her go at it ?
b. Join in for a three way ?
c. Knock her out of the way and take me yourself ?
There is no wrong answer but I am wondering what I am getting myself into. And, I would like a combination of all three really. She probably would too.
Sound interesting? I have more ideas. Hopefully you do too. And we can make them a reality together.
Of course, I am not talking about the normal monogamous relationship. Safe and honest fun that we can all enjoy. Anything spooks you, it just stops. That simple. But if you are willing to push some boundaries, let’s see what we can do together.
No requirements but an open mind.
Hope to hear from you soon.
As you can read in there, it may have been more suited towards a female looking for couples. But in my defense, this is want I want from a woman right now. I didn’t try to tank it so I could “win” and prove my point.
I am not going to post my friend’s ad now. I would have to get permission first, and I currently don’t have that. But her ad got at least forty different e-mail addresses. Two or three of them were from women who wanted her to join the woman and her husband.
My ad, the one you read above, got a grand total of two responses. Two. One was from Linda; sweetkittyneedsplaytime27@hotmail.com which asked that I answer to dirtigirllindab78@gmail.com. Which, once I did, led to a link to a website: http://www.amateurdatingonline.com?
The other response seemed like a real woman. I attached a photo and responded back to her. Then, nothing. It has been a couple of days now and she hasn’t gotten back to me.
I am sincerely not beating my chest. I posted a truthful ad for a woman that, if I would have gotten a real response, I would have been more than happy to meet up with. But, that was not in the cards. But I am not using this forum to try and feel important or make myself feel better. The situation simply is, that is it.
In the end, I wasn’t using this to actually meet women. If I wanted to meet women, I wouldn’t have been as honest and upfront about what I want. I am not going to give away my strategies so I have said about as much as I wish to at this point.
So now that I have proven my hypothesis, I get to do something. Kind of like winning a bet.
At first I thought me and my female friend would find a girl to have a three way with. But I am shying away from that idea now. Mostly because, like I said, I wasn’t looking to meet any new women. And I want to be true to that.
The other thing that I had proposed when we made the challenge was that we have a guy either, watch while we perform or I watch while the guy and my female friend perform. There are more aspects but I am working on changing some things. And am leaning towards a variation of this.
Do you have anything better? If so, make a comment about what she should do in response to losing this “bet”.
Partly because when I phrased it, I made her sound as if she was unique amongst a limited edition of women. Like she would be stuffed and mounted, not in a sexual way, when dies so that other generations of men will know she existed at one time. No matter how truly special and valued she is, it does make her sound like more like an object. And no one wants to be an object. She never told me she felt like this, so this may all be bull. But I imagine that is some of what fueled her disgust at my notion.
I was mostly joking about the fact as well. Often times acting like a crack addict. If you have seen the Chappelle’s Show character Tyrone Biggums, I would act in the same mannerisms substituting being with my female friend as my crack. I am an addicted to being around her.
I think we joked about this for about six months now before she was pretty much fed up with it. So I decided to get up off my hump and prove it to her. To show her that men will respond to a sexually open women much faster and in greater quantity (if not quality) than women will respond to a sexually open men. I have lots of data to back up my hypothesis. But I won’t go into here.
Just as a side note, I predicted that most if not all of my responses to a guy looking for a woman would be fake. If you are guy you know the ones I am talking about. They lead you to a dating site or some such none sense. Any guy who has posted on anything other than a Match.com or E-Harmony knows what I am talking about.
I decided we would individually write Craig’s List ads and post them. Here is where things may have been unfair. Her ad was on w4m (woman for man). Mine was on m4w. This may not have been the best place for mine. Mine probably should have been in mw4w. The best way to demonstrate why is to simply put the ad up in here. So without further ado:
Title: Must Like Porn
I am looking for someone who wants to have some fun. Adult fun. Expand their horizons a bit. Your view should include matters of a sexual nature. And if we are friends too, well, I guess that would be a nice bonus. Seriously, I want to have a female friend that has a good sense of humor who wants to try some new things.
So I guess you want to know about me. I am a Black Man. I am 5’11”. I weigh about 190 pounds. I keep my black hair short. I have brown eyes. DDF and V-Safe.
So what kind of fun?
Well let’s start off short quiz. If you saw me with my current female lover would you:
a. Watch me and her go at it ?
b. Join in for a three way ?
c. Knock her out of the way and take me yourself ?
There is no wrong answer but I am wondering what I am getting myself into. And, I would like a combination of all three really. She probably would too.
Sound interesting? I have more ideas. Hopefully you do too. And we can make them a reality together.
Of course, I am not talking about the normal monogamous relationship. Safe and honest fun that we can all enjoy. Anything spooks you, it just stops. That simple. But if you are willing to push some boundaries, let’s see what we can do together.
No requirements but an open mind.
Hope to hear from you soon.
As you can read in there, it may have been more suited towards a female looking for couples. But in my defense, this is want I want from a woman right now. I didn’t try to tank it so I could “win” and prove my point.
I am not going to post my friend’s ad now. I would have to get permission first, and I currently don’t have that. But her ad got at least forty different e-mail addresses. Two or three of them were from women who wanted her to join the woman and her husband.
My ad, the one you read above, got a grand total of two responses. Two. One was from Linda; sweetkittyneedsplaytime27@hotmail.com which asked that I answer to dirtigirllindab78@gmail.com. Which, once I did, led to a link to a website: http://www.amateurdatingonline.com?
The other response seemed like a real woman. I attached a photo and responded back to her. Then, nothing. It has been a couple of days now and she hasn’t gotten back to me.
I am sincerely not beating my chest. I posted a truthful ad for a woman that, if I would have gotten a real response, I would have been more than happy to meet up with. But, that was not in the cards. But I am not using this forum to try and feel important or make myself feel better. The situation simply is, that is it.
In the end, I wasn’t using this to actually meet women. If I wanted to meet women, I wouldn’t have been as honest and upfront about what I want. I am not going to give away my strategies so I have said about as much as I wish to at this point.
So now that I have proven my hypothesis, I get to do something. Kind of like winning a bet.
At first I thought me and my female friend would find a girl to have a three way with. But I am shying away from that idea now. Mostly because, like I said, I wasn’t looking to meet any new women. And I want to be true to that.
The other thing that I had proposed when we made the challenge was that we have a guy either, watch while we perform or I watch while the guy and my female friend perform. There are more aspects but I am working on changing some things. And am leaning towards a variation of this.
Do you have anything better? If so, make a comment about what she should do in response to losing this “bet”.
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